Friday, May 07, 2021

The Prize.


The fight for The Prize! 


FAO: Master-General Styker of Departento Munitorium
RECEIVED: The Future Home Of The Volunteer Parkway Primus Textile Manufacturium, Department H.
TELEPATHIC DUCT: Astropath-terminus: Jim
AUTHOR: Father Abernathy The Black Monk of Unicoi Secondus.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: The alien fails because it cannot embrace the Emperor.

Dear Xenos scum,

This is your final notice that you are to immediately vacate and leave the world of The Future Home Of The  Volunteer Parkway Primus Textile Manufacturium, Department H. It's designated role as a manufacturium dedicated to the fabrication of textiles needed to supply His Glorious Imperial Army exceeds any ancestral or aboriginal claims your kind and kin may protest to claim. Since our previous efforts to persuade you resulted in the death of our Missionary, Grievous The Unkind, and his attaché, we are giving you a second, and final,  chance. Also,  we have determined that his translator servo  skull was left behind when he departed and we suspect his message was improperly conveyed. But we do thank you for the return of his remains, even though the note you sent with the package indicates that you wish for us to 'go copulate' with ourselves. Again, the lack of a proper translation device is on us, but we are giving you this final chance to vacate with what you xenos refer to as your 'lives'* 

The voice of His Holiness, 
The Black Monk of Unicoi Secondus.

*How any creature considers living without a 18 hour work day devoted to the service of the Holy Emperor Of Mankind a "life" is a baffling concept to us, but that's your business. Perhaps we could find a role for your kind in a sub-department of the new textile manufacturium? We will attach applications along with this message. 


It's safe assume that the Eldar were less that amused to receive that message. Well Da Masta Cheef was bemused when I sent him that jovial pre-game taunt email. Yes, we were able to arrange a game and we settled on a small 500 point game to stretch out these lethargic gamer limbs. It allowed me to chose an army that I have been itching to do something with since I acquired it from my brother oh so many years ago: Astra Militarum Imperial Guard. 

The Imperial Guard. 

Here is what I brought (per pic above, left to right): Two Chimeras with track guards and a storm bolter, Infantry Squad with 9 lasguns, and a Sergeant with bolt pistol, Militarum Tempestus Scions with 7 hot-shot lasguns, a plasma gun and a melta gun, led by a Tempestuous with bolt pistol and chainsword, six Ratlings, Company Commander (Duke) with chainsword, and The Black Monk himself an Ministorum Priest with a bolt pistol. 

The Eldar.

Per the above pic (left to right), the Eldar are a Dire Avengers with Exarch, Ten Guardian Defenders with a Shurikan Cannon, Dragon Knight Autarch with fusion gun, warlock with singing spear, Corsair Falcon with scatter laser and pulse laser and a Corsair Reaver Band armed with a brace of pistols, Sunburst grenades, and Sparglaives, 

The Open War deck draws.

The Open War Deck gave us The Prize as a mission. A single objective that a single model can pick up and carry off. The side who has it wins the game at the end of Turn 5. If no one has it, it's a draw. Cheef and I like it simple and with this small of a points game, it was a perfect mission to draw. We aren't entirely sure what The Prize is since we didn't have a proper objective marker, we settled on using one of the old 6th edition era ones that I carry around in my gaming bag. Maybe The Prize is some item or info that would end this land dispute or maybe it's those job apps those out of work xenos desperately need. Who knows?  But these guys want to kill each other over it and we're happy to oblige.  

The Twist card was interesting as the driving rain and wind it describes bestows the benefit of Light Cover to anyone beyond 18". A condition my ratlings were pleased to have to their advantage! 

Here's how my deployment turned out. The Scions were in reserve. The Infantry unit was inside the chimera to the left while the other was empty. Both were poised to to zip up to The Prize. The Black Monk and the Commander were outside and behind the Infantry loaded chimera so as to be able to benefit them when needed. The ratlings were positioned on the opposite side of the wall close to the objective.

Imperial Guard deployment.

The xenos were also poised to dash towards The Prize. The Corsair Reaver Band went into reserves, waiting for their moment to pounce.

Eldar deployment.


Lucky me, I won the roll off and the Imperial Guard go first. The Chimera zipped up but the Infantry remained embarked. Both Chimera opened up on the Guardians, as did the ratlings. After the morale phase all that remained of them was the gun platform and two defenders. 

The surviving Guardian Defenders.

The Eldar's first turn was surprisingly ineffective, much to Cheef's disbelief (and my relief).  The Falcon's attempt to take out the chimera failed to even wound it. 

The showdown that wasn't.

Turn 2

My dice were still hot as the Infantry disembarked from their Chimera and their Sergeant grabbed The Prize. The Chimera to to my right moved up and opened fire on the Dire Avengers but it wasn't as effective as the Scions who landed behind them. Their hot-shot lasguns tore into them with only a single one left standing, the Exarch. 

The Dire Avengers are cut down.

The Cheef was exasperated that his dice were forsaking him, but when I accidently touched them he immediately decided that my luck would transfer to them. I laughed off such superstitious nonsense but it did seem that Cheef's and the Eldar's luck was about to change... the Chimera that deployed the Infantry turned it's weapons on the Falcon but the Falcon easily deflected the attacks. 

Bottom of Turn 2.

I thought the ratlings were safe but the Corsairs arrived and ambushed them. 

Ambushing the ambushers.

I played the Take Cover! Stratagem, but it just wasn't enough. The ratlings were wiped out! Cheef was now happy. 

' "Take cover" doesn't mean jump in a grave!'

The Falcon performed way better this turn leaving it's chimera opponent with a single wound remaining.

Defensive Gunners! 

The Guard's luck wasn't over yet though as the Defensive Gunners Stratagem was played. Despite the wounding hits, the Autarch's made his saves and ripped into the Infantry. And he was joined by the Dire Avenger Exarch who gleefully joined in the bloodletting. I had to play the Insane Bravery Stratagem to assure that my men didn't bolt and stayed in the fight. 

Turn Three
The Scions were not within range of any more viable targets so they advanced towards the center. Meanwhile the chimera on the right turned around and approached the Corsairs bringing a few of them down with a hail of fire. Sarge's bolt pistol was his only effective attack option apparently, as these were the only wounds the Autarch couldn't seem to save. The Commander and the Black Monk joined in the fight also, but the Black Monk took a wound for his efforts.  

The fight for The Prize is in full swing. 

Bottom of Turn 3. 

Eldar Turn 3.

The Falcon finished off the last Chimera and put some wounds on the other one as well. The Corsairs took off more wounds on the chimera mostly thanks to a Sunburst grenade attack that impressed the heck out of me. They then charged the Chimera hoping to finish it but, that didn't have the desired results that the xenos had hoped for.

The Corsairs assault the Chimera.

Meanwhile at the center of the table the Warlock joins the fray.  The Commander (Duke) had taken a wound by this point also but everyone else stayed in the fight!

"Give me the prize!"

Turn 4

The Chimera backed up, and blasted the heck out of the Corsairs, leaving only one member of the squad left.  The Black Monk killed the Dire Avenger Exarch and moved to confront the Warlock face to face. But more dramatically, the Autarch felled the Sergeant and claimed The Prize!

"I have The Prize!"

Eldar Turn Four, the Falcon and the support weapon try to wipe out the scions but only manage to pick off one or two.  Autarch, grabs The Prize and flees to an area of the board where he thinks he'll be safe. The last corsair dashes up to to assist the Warlock. 

Warlock & Preacher have a Three Stooges moment.

The Eldar turn ends the Imperial Guard in a challenging place: who could I possibly get to intercept that damn Autarch?!

The end of Turn 4. 


Being a point (499 pts) under the Eldar (500 pts) I was able to draw a Ruse card that I had almost forgotten about which I desperately employed now: Tactical Reserves. I brought in another squad of ratlings as their guns had the longer range and potential for them to take out that Autarch than the Infantry squads did. 

Ratling tactical reserves arrive.

And it was worth it. One of the shots caused a Mortal Wound which felled the Autarch and The Prize was dropped!

Taken down by a flurry of needles.

This upset was followed by another upset, as the Black Monk was defeated by the Warlock! 

"No one talks to me like that in an email! No one!"

Turn 5 is the last turn of the game and I managed to set us up for a draw by having the ratlings snuff out the Autarch. 

Set up for a draw.

Well, I underestimated, again, the speediness of the Eldar. The Guardian Defenders, those who were hammered so hard in Turn 1, zipped over and grabbed the prize! 

"We got it!"

Fresh from eliminating the Black Monk, the Warlock was feeling mighty and tough so he boldly approached the Scions, attempted to cast one of his psychic attacks...and rolled a Perils Of The Warp result. The resulting warp detonation did kill a few Scions but the resulting, spectacular demise the Warlock (who had passed a statistic defying number of armor saves throughout the game up to this point) took him along with it. Perhaps She Who Milks needed a new companion and summed him to her lair (stable)? Regardless, he was gone!

The Scions, after the suicide Warlock attack

The Falcon blew the ratlings off of the table (so much hate!) much to the glee of Cheef.

And this is how it ended, with the Eldar taking full advantage of their final turn to claim The Prize while the Imperial Guard watched them ride out in the sunset.

The table at the end of Turn 5.

Another fun and furious game! The Imperial Guard did pretty good really. I think they would have done better had I remembered to issue Orders more often, or had the Scions been more strategicly placed (riding me of the those Dire Avengers was blessing though), this could've turned out better. Ultimately though, it's clear that it's best to keep your Guardsmen away from close combat as much as possible. I was impressed with Sarge's durability as he did live longer that I thought he would have going toe to toe against an Autarch (guess he really wanted The Prize!).

Painted or camouflage? 

The Eldar's armor turned into a laser proof Teflon material halfway though the game, with the Warlock being particularly resistant to every successful attack the IG made against him. He only died because he botched a psychic attack. We both agreed that he deserves a paint job and should get a spot in Cheef's painting queue soon (instead of painting Battletech scenery..). Speaking of paint jobs, the Falcon defied the rule of 'New Model Syndrome' and not only survived the game but finished it fully intact! It was definitely impressive in this match. 

"This zone is secure! Move out!"


FAO: Master-General Styker of Departento Munitorium
RECEIVED: The Future Home Of The Volunteer Parkway Primus Textile Manufacturium, Department H.
TELEPATHIC DUCT: Astropath-terminus: Jim
AUTHOR: Father Abernathy The Black Monk of Unicoi Secondus.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Only despair can defeat us. Or bad dice. 

Dear Xenos scum,

We have received your complaint and after careful consideration have determined that your world probably wouldn't make a good manufacturum after all. We have therefor suspended our plans. As a further consequence all applications received so far have been voided for consideration. Which is a relief since the constitution of your frail race probably couldn't survive an 18-hour work day anyway, and we would need efficiency for this project to be successful. 

Enjoy your so called lives.   

Brother Brown, speaking on behalf of Father Abernathy, who is in traction. 

1 comment:

Da Masta Cheef said...

Wretched Mon'Keigh! It will take eons to remove your stench from this world! Seriously, as bad as I was rolling to start off with, I thought we'd end up playing 2 games as my force was collapsing like a house of cards.

Also: Makes a note to Add the Warlock to the paint queue, right behind a battlemech that took out of one of Screech's cheesemech's with a spectacular headshot!